So i have decided to erase West Hollywood off the map. Why? Because I can. And that's why I love this city.
Truly the one brilliant and horrific thing about Los Angeles is that it spans over 498.3 square miles. It extends for 44 miles longitudinally and for 29 miles latitudinally. There are 86 cities in Los Angeles County. That means there are 86 places to go, 86 places to fall in love with, 86 places to hate, and if you so desire to completely obliterate one of those places off your map you have 85 more places left.
When someone says Los Angeles they assume its one identity, but they are wrong. Los Angeles can go from the art district of Los Feliz and Silver lake, to the ritzy Beverly Hills, to the seedy Downtown, and the even seedier (but all the actors want to live there) West Hollywood, it encompasses the beach areas past Santa Monica and Venice down towards Redondo Beach, and it can go as far inland as Pomona and Sylmar (which is the black widow capital of California, holy crap!). We ALL live in Los Angeles, and while driving is a complete and utter nightmare here, if you want to escape you just simply have to drive to the next town and seek a completely new experience. Mind you, a lot of it looks like the same hodge podge mismatched spatters with a palm tree thrown in, but the people who live there often create a whole new vibe to the places. It also makes it easier to completely eradicate certain parts of Los Angeles off your map, and thanks to the multitude of streets you never have to enter said deleted zones where said bum actors live. In my case, one in particular, and all of his friends. That's right, you can keep your area Mister, with your too cool for school eateries and dress shops. OK enough of that, but still, having such an expansive city can come in handy when you want to avoid certain zones.
People come to Los Angeles looking for the landmarks. They want to see the Sunset Strip (which is slowly starting to gain its appeal again, for as most of us know who live here, its simply a busy road blotched with a hot spot for the in-crowds, nothing consistent, and nothing I would love to walk on), or Venice boardwalk (which has its brightly colorful homeless characters who want to sell you a badly produced CD or read your palm, although i must admit the guy who read my palm was pretty spot on, even if he smelled). One can go see Mann's Chinese Theater (and the strange super heros that inhabit it, watch "Confessions of a Superhero" to get the full effect of actors doing everything to be seen, even panhandling in a costume), or the Scientology Center (that ones a kicker, I keep hoping to see Xenu but all I get are Mormon lookalikes). People even try to climb up to the Hollywood sign (which I hate to break it to you folks, but that's no longer possible, and is in fact illegal) and some people even love West Hollywood because you get to walk down the Boulevard of Dreams (and smell the piss while doing so).
There are many wonders to Los Angeles, but by and by, people get stuck in the extremely trivial wonders. People see these things on movies and think "wouldn't it be cool to live there, to see that." Some people who live here, also get caught up in living in a particular zone, because they think that's where they need to be, to fit in, or to be found. Truth be told, there are many many great spots to find in Los Angeles, you just have to go off the map. Get a little off the touristy grid. For instance, the best Italian food is in a mall in Marina Del Rey by the name of Antica Pizzeria. One of the best underground bookshops I have come across is open only two hours a day and resides behind a fireman's house in Hermosa Beach. We have a Gaudi like structure that inhabits two blocks in the ghettoist part of Watts (though I recommend only seeing that during the day). Some of the greatest galleries are located on the backstreets of Chinatown and on a block of La Cienega Boulevard in Culver City. And we are home to some of the best Southern Californian Orchid growers whom you can visit at their auctions twice a year in Burbank. If you want to see some landscape, some of the best hiking can be found in Temescal Canyon, and some of the best places to see seals and dolphins is in Northern Santa Monica. Every place has its unique spot, you just have to look through the glittery touristy crap to find it. Even, and I grind my teeth saying this, West Hollywood has its charm.
There is no singular identity to Los Angeles, this can be both a blessing and a curse (definitely a curse when it comes to LA Fashion, which I WILL devote a blog to), but it makes us stand out in a very nonconformist way. And it makes Los Angeles one of the best places in America for both Contemporary Art and Architecture.
I think that's why it attracts a certain type of creature as well. We all seek to find our nest in this craziness, we all seek to find our tribe. It can be a struggle when there is so much difference, but when you can come together through that difference, magic can be made.
Just not in West Hollywood. It's been erased.
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